Men and Mental Health

Man through the lens of society is a Provider, a Protector, a head of the family.

But who will provide them when they are in need?  Who will protect them when they can no longer take it? Why is all the pressure on men to call shots? SYSTEM ERROR!! SYSTEM ERROR!!

Perhaps even Chat GPT can not answer these questions because these systematically errors are internalised within our society. Despite the fact that men account for approximately three quarters of all suicides in the India, the conversation around men and mental health is still in its infancy. Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) research invokes that every 7th man in India scrambles over mental health conditions, with depression leading the scoreboard. National institute of Mental Health revealed that 39% of people feel that men may feel uncomfortable while talking about mental illnesses.  Men are more likely to die by suicide than women, in a mere span of one year, suicide rates have shot up to 23.4% from 18.7%. The stats are in an obvious manner highlighting that men suffer in silence and not seek help for their mental health issues but are we even keeping a score of their stress, sadness, tears, pain or we still holding the banner high of 'Men don't cry'?

Mental health Issues in Men

Studies reveal that men struggling with mental health problems have legitimate fears that revealing their issues, their feelings, their illness will damage their reputation, relations or employment status. This being said it is also important to consider the societal pressures placed upon men. We live in a culture that often places a high value on traditional measures of success such as wealth, power and status. Men who feel they are not meeting these standards of success can be more prone to feeling inadequate.

The famous phrase that we all have heard or said, "Be a man" is a phrase that has been used to convey a sense of toughness, courage, and strength in men. This mentality is pervasive, especially in regions around the world, specially India. The phrase "be a man" often implies that men should suppress their emotions and never show vulnerability or weakness. This can create pressure on men to conform to traditional masculine stereotypes and contribute to a lack of emotional intimacy and communication in relationships. Their tendency to adhere to stereotypical masculine traits, is one of the primary reasons why many men are less likely to get help for their mental health. Such phrases like 'Men don't cry' or 'Mard ko dard nahi hota'  often teach men from a very young age to be stoic, strong, dominant and hide their pain. 

Emotionally instability, expressing feelings or lack of physical strength are viewed as negative traits for men and commonly known as toxic masculinity. These norms cast up aggression, sexual control, ego, assertiveness and dominance. This can lead to a reluctance to seek help, simply because asking for help can be seen as a sign of weakness. This is compounded further by the fact that men are less likely to talk about their feelings, and can be less likely to recognise when they are struggling with their own mental health. 

Toxic Masculinity

Toxic masculinity is a term used to describe a set of harmful and limiting expectations of male behaviour that can have a detrimental impact on both men and women. The concept of toxic masculinity is based on the idea that traditional expectations of male behaviour, such as toughness, aggression, and emotional stoicism.

At its core, toxic masculinity is about the ways in which society enforces narrow, limiting definitions of what it means to be a man. These definitions often rely on outdated notions of gender roles and reinforce the idea that men should be strong, dominant, and emotionless. This can lead to a variety of negative consequences for both men and women, including:

1. Violence: Toxic masculinity can lead to a culture of violence, in which men feel that they 'MUST' use aggression and dominance to assert their masculinity. This is because traditional expectations of male behaviour, such as toughness, physical strength, and emotional stoicism, can create a sense of entitlement and superiority that can fuel violent and aggressive behaviour. One of the most concerning aspects of toxic masculinity and violence is that it often goes unchallenged and even celebrated in certain contexts. For example, in some communities and subcultures, aggressive and violent behaviour may be viewed as a sign of strength and masculinity, leading to a normalisation of harmful behaviour and attitudes. 

2. Emotional suppression: The reasons behind the expectation for men to suppress emotions are complex and rooted in historical and cultural norms. Traditionally, men have been expected to conform to a narrow set of gender roles that prioritise qualities such as strength, independence, and emotional control. One reason for this expectation may be related to the belief that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. Men may also be encouraged to suppress their emotions to avoid appearing vulnerable or needy, as these traits can be seen as feminine or weak. Another reason could be that historically men have held positions of power in many societies, and as a result, have been expected to exhibit a sense of control and authority. The suppression of emotions can be seen as a way of maintaining this sense of control and authority, especially in contexts where men are expected to be leaders or decision-makers. While these cultural norms and expectations have been slowly changing in recent years, the expectation for men to suppress their emotions remains deeply ingrained in many aspects of our culture. These traditional expectations from men to suppress their emotions is the primary reason why they struggle with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. Emotions are a natural and necessary part of the human experience, and suppressing them can lead to a sense of disconnection and isolation. In addition to the negative impact on men's mental health, emotional suppression can also affect their relationships with others. When men are unable or unwilling to express their emotions, they may struggle to connect with the people around them, leading to a sense of loneliness and alienation. This can also lead to difficulty in intimate relationships, as emotional distance and a lack of communication can create barriers to intimacy and connection.

3. Sexual objectification: One aspect of toxic masculinity is the objectification of women and the belief that men have a right to control and dominate women's bodies. This type of toxic masculinity can contribute to the sexual objectification of women, who are views as objects to be enjoyed solely for their physical appearance or sexual appeal. One way that toxic masculinity reinforces sexual objectification is through the promotion of a culture of hyper-masculinity, which values traits such as aggression, dominance, and sexual conquest. In this culture, men are often encouraged to value their own sexual prowess above all else. Men are often taught to believe that they must be dominant and sexually aggressive in order to be seen as "real men." This can lead to normalisation of harmful sexual behaviours such as sexual coercion and violence. For example, men who subscribe to hyper-masculine beliefs may view sex as a conquest or competition, rather than a mutually enjoyable and respectful experience. This can lead to a lack of concern for the needs and desires of their sexual partners, as well as a disregard for issues such as consent and safety.

4. Homophobia: Homophobia, or the fear and hatred of individuals who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, can be seen as a manifestation of toxic masculinity because it reinforces the belief that being gay or transgender is somehow less masculine or less desirable than being heterosexual and conforming to traditional gender roles. Toxic masculinity often reinforces strict gender roles and the belief that traditional masculine traits are superior to those traditionally associated with femininity or homosexuality. This can contribute to the stigmatisation and marginalisation of individuals who do not conform to traditional gender roles, including those who identify as LGBTQAI+. This further encourages harmful normalisation of discrimination and violence against individuals who are perceived as different. Men who conform to traditional toxic masculinity often are 'disgusted' or hold a strong disapproval for LGBTQAI+ community, they often perpetuate harmful power structures that provides privilege to them over others, contributing to a lack of diversity and inclusion.

It is important to note that toxic masculinity does not mean that all men are inherently toxic. Rather, it refers to a set of cultural expectations and attitudes that can be more harmful to men than women. In fact, many men are actively working to challenge toxic masculinity and promote more positive and inclusive definitions of masculinity. However they are in need of others- us as a society. Mental health issues are common in men to be hushed to complete silence in such a way that depression or anxiety disorder- a  serious mental health issue that can affect anyone, regardless of gender, is considered a feminine trait. Due to these harmful gender stereotypes and societal expectations, men are almost made to feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk to a mental health professional, friend or family member to express that they could be struggling with depression or many other mental health disorders, as they may believe that it is not masculine to show vulnerability or seek emotional support. More than half of mental health challenges in men often go undiagnosed or even seen.

Coping  with mental health issues in Men

To combat the harmful impacts of associating mental health disorders with feminine traits, it is important to promote a more inclusive and understanding society that recognises the importance of mental health for everyone. We as a society together need to take steps to encourage men to reach out for help for their mental health. This means creating an environment where men feel comfortable discussing their emotions, and where seeking help is seen as a sign of strength, not weakness. It also means providing support for men who are struggling, and encouraging them to take care of their mental health in the same way that they take care of their physical health.

We can combat toxic masculinity by highlighting men who embrace qualities such as empathy, compassion, and vulnerability.

Here are some more steps that can be taken to improve the state of mental health for men and counteract the harmful stereotypes and expectations that contribute to toxic masculinity.:

1. Encourage seeking help and normalising therapy: Encouraging men to seek help and support when they are struggling can help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and promote healthier attitudes towards seeking help. Normalise seeking help for mental health issues by talking openly about mental health and the importance of seeking treatments when needed. This can help reduce stigma and promote a more open and understanding attitude towards mental health.

2. Promote healthy coping mechanisms: Encourage men to develop healthy coping mechanisms, such as venting out or expressing their emotions, exercise, meditation, and creative outlets. These can help to reduce stress and promote overall well-being. We need to provide a safe and non-judgmental space for men to express their emotions. This can be in the form of therapy, support groups, or even just a listening ear from a trusted friend or family member. Further encouraging men to reflect on their emotions and the root causes behind them. This can help men better understand their emotions and develop healthier ways to express them. From a young age, provide education on emotional intelligence and the importance of emotional expression. This can help men better understand the benefits of expressing their emotions and develop healthier emotional coping mechanisms.

3. Challenge harmful gender stereotypes: Encourage more open and honest conversations about gender roles and expectations. By challenging outdated notions of masculinity and promoting more diverse and inclusive definitions of what it means to be a man, we can create a culture that is more supportive of all individuals, regardless of gender.  Promoting positive examples of masculinity that prioritise empathy, respect, and healthy relationships. 

4. Provide resources and support: Provide access to mental health services, support groups, and other community resources that can help men manage their mental health and build healthy coping mechanisms.  We need to care and help men in understanding how to cope with mental health issues. For example promoting self-care activities that have been shown to benefit mental health, such as meditation. Men tend to not engage in self-care activities thereby we need to encourage men to prioritise self-care activities in their daily routine. 

5. Foster social connections: Social isolation can have negative impacts on mental health. Encouraging men to foster social connections and build strong relationships with others can promote social support and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Remember, for years men have been made to not value relations and exercise superiority over other groups and we can not change that overnight, fostering social relations takes time and effort, but it is an important part of maintaining good mental health.

6. Educate on mental health: Educate men on the importance of mental health and the impacts of mental health issues. Provide with information on common mental health issues, symptoms, risk factors, and available treatment options. We are aware that men are less likely to seek help or it is harder for men to express their mental health needs, therefore take the conscious effort to introduce or volunteer to take them to healthcare professionals when needed in order to model an open and easy access to resources. This can help to reduce stigma and promote a more open and understanding attitude towards mental health. Everyone regardless of gender roles or sexual orientation, deserves access to resources and support for their mental health concerns.

Ultimately, it is up to all of us to challenge toxic masculinity and promote more positive and inclusive attitudes towards gender. By working together, we can create a world in which all individuals are able to express their full range of emotions and experiences, free from harmful and limiting cultural expectations.